Tinay Part III

Love, Failed Love

Upon arriving in England, she lived with a few friends initially, until she was able to get a job. Tinay is a hardworking person, and so she got lots of odd jobs in London. At that time, jobs were aplenty for foreigners like her who were willing to do just about anything – babysitting, being the most popular. She had a string of very kind American employers who were just so generous to her.

Aside from being a hardworker, Tinay is also very friendly, outgoing and spontaneous. Shy is not one word that can be applied to describe her. She is very genuine and a real go-getter. She made a lot of friends and she made them fast.

One of these friends introduced her to an Englishman who was “kinda” interested but was not showing enough of it to merit Tinay’s serious attention. They met once and had two failed dates. The first date they were supposed to have, the English guy had cold feet and requested for a postponement, a move which did not rest well with Tinay. So, when the alternative day came up, it was her turn to stand him up. Well, at that time, they both didn’t know what they were about to throw away.

She thought that perhaps, those were signs that they were not meant to be. She did not think there was any future for them. The wavering, ambivalent approach of the Englishman towards her was just not her style. For her, when she wants to have something, she has to get it for herself. So, believing that the Englishman was not the only fish in the ocean, she got into another relationship with a Filipino who practically grew up in the UK. This Filipino guy is younger than her, and did not show much promise as a husband material. But they got married nevertheless and sadly, it didn’t last.

Tinay suffered much during that two-year relationship. This phase of her life alone can again make for another sub-plot that is sure to gut even the most soulless of hearts. She was taken advantage of by her husband who was immature and really addicted to gambling. He gambled off his money and Tinay was left to fend for herself and her new-born daughter.

At one time, they lived in the living room of her mother-in-law’s tiny flat as they had no rent money or anywhere else to go. She went on babysitting for her employers and she would bring her baby along. Since her babysitting jobs took place from dinner time up to about midnight – when her employers are out for the night, she and the baby would go home in the middle of the night – regardless of the weather. And if you are not familiar with the English weather, you can fairly have an idea by thinking of a neurotic, impulsive woman who changes her mind instantly and can really be very mean at times.

One night at about 11:00 when her babysitting duties were done, she was walking along the street while the rain was pouring down. She was praying for an empty cab to pass by. Luckily, a cab driver noticed that she was pushing a buggy (stroller) in the middle of the night in the pouring rain. He took pity on her and picked her up. Those were little miracles Tinay can remember from that dark phase of her life. And where was her husband? Gambling.

There were times when she would call the police for protection from threats and physical abuse by her husband. One time, when her visa as a legal spouse of a British citizen was still to be released, therefore making her technically an illegal alien, she summoned police after a serious row with her husband, and fearlessly admitted to them that she was an overstaying alien. She simply banked on the compassion of the police to protect her because she needed it, never mind if her immigrant status (at that time) could backfire.

This is characteristic of our heroine. She is fiercely-independent and assertive, not looking at the problems but always finding a way to solve them. At least in two instances, when she needed the services of a lawyer and could not afford it, she represented herself – just on her own. It is difficult to put a person this feisty down.

On the brighter side, she had her beautiful daughter from that relationship, and she gained British citizenship courtesy of her being married to the Pinoy-Brit hubby of hers. That was all that could be said as positive in her life back then, plus the fact that love came knocking round the second time.

To be continued…